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"Eek, a Penis!" is episode 1205 (#172) of the animated series South Park.[1] It was first broadcast on April 9, 2008.
Plot summary
The episode begins with Mrs. Garrison crying in front of her class as she recounts the story of Thomas Beatie, the pregnant transsexual man who appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show a week before the episode's release. She claims that Beatie is still a woman deep down inside due to the fact he had a baby, meaning that Ms. Garrison herself is still a man deep down inside. She then explains that she is no longer happy as a "woman", but cannot return to being a man because his penis was destroyed after his sex-change operation in the episode "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina". After launching into a rage, Garrison is removed from teaching by Principal Victoria until she gets her personal life in order, and Cartman is appointed as temporary teacher in Garrison's place. The kids in class then steal the answer sheet for the next day's quiz from Garrison's desk, and as a result pass with high scores. Impressed, the Denver County school board, asks Cartman to teach a struggling inner-city classroom at Jim Davis High School.
Mrs. Garrison sees a news report describing how scientists can use a mouse to grow a human ear, and decides to have the same experiment performed on him to get a new penis. Using some of his male DNA and all of his money, scientists are able to create a mouse with a penis on it, but it escapes from the lab and begins to race all over town, causing stereotypical hysterical reactions in all the women who see it (but they do not acknowledge it as a mouse, only referring to it as a "penis"). Mrs. Garrison looks for it in vain, as it winds up in various houses, restaurants, etc., even stopping to sing a parody of "Somewhere Out There" from An American Tail. Eventually, however, it vanishes into the sewers, and Mrs. Garrison goes back to moping that she will never be a real man again.
Meanwhile, Cartman, taking Kyle's warning about the dangers of inner-city students who will "fucking murder him", disguises himself as a Hispanic man named "Mr. Cartmenez", and teaches his students how white people are able to succeed even when they cannot: by cheating. This references the story of Jaime Escalante who taught calculus to underpriviledged high school students as seen in the movie Stand and Deliver. He then teaches his class numerous cheating techniques, explaining that as long as they succeed, no one will judge them. Cartman cites Bill Belichick's success after cheating in the Spygate football scandal. He teaches them to memorize test answers, use cameras, and, in the case of a pregnant girl, getting an abortion (which he explains is "cheating nature itself", and that "white girls do it all the time and get away with it"). When the kids do amazingly well, they are then challenged to take the hardest, most secure standardized test in the state, and pass. The class honors "Mr. Cartmanez" for teaching them "The White People Method", and he is universally praised.
While Mrs. Garrison is moping in the park, the mouse with his penis shows up and allows itself to be caught, and Mrs. Garrison undergoes an operation to become Mr. Garrison again. He arrives back at school and explains that he now realizes that the true judge of gender is whether someone can get pregnant. The episode concludes when one teacher objects that his wife cannot have babies because of ovarian cancer, and Mr. Garrison responds with, "Well then get an AIDS test, Thomson, 'cause your wife's a dude, faggot. Yeah! I'm back!"
See also
References
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